No More Screaming Please, Get A Hold Of Yourselves, and Don’t Stoop, EVER..
I had a long talk with my good friend Pam today and each and every time I get off the phone I realize that some poignant stuff was discussed. She is 2 chapters away from finishing her book and it sounds fascinating! I also was very hard in the beginning of the conversation because she said she called a couple times and was worried about me. I took her being worried about me as an insult- HA HA HA.. I like to think that I am the queen of my throne and no one needs to worry- and if they do, and mention they are, I feel like perhaps they think me weak! And my circumstances as of late have shown me that I am anything BUT WEAK… so Pam, you know I love you girl, and I know I explained to you my sitch and you understood why I was all bravery and courage and pomp and circumstance once you mentioned concern. I love that you love me so much, that you kept calling until I called you back because you wanted to know that your girl was straight up aces, which I am. Which brings me to my thoughts after we hung up.
I have realized as of late, especially due to the people that I was forced to deal with, due to a property lease and others, that I chose to have in my life. I realized something huge, rather esoteric, but rather simple at the same time. When people press you against a wall, bully you, mistreat you, and threaten you, it doesn’t do any good to meet them halfway. In fact, it feels down right awful to lower yourself to another’s level of vibrating on a low frequency. It feels like you haven’t progressed from operating at a child like level of dumb- STUPID- lame and embarrassing. Within the last two weeks, I have encountered some unfortunate circumstances, one I created, the other two because I had no choice. All of them error-ed on the side of ludicrous.
I was actually screamed at by two supposed adults and felt like I was on an episode of COPS! It was awesome- NOT at all. I just stood there in awe at the total ridiculousness that was my sitch at that moment. I mean this was some high school consciousness, immature, lowly, disgusting, and juvenile behavior that thankfully I didn’t commence nor participate in. I witnessed hands shaking, out of control screaming and thought it all so surreal. I was thinking, how in the world did I get into this situation? When people want to keep security deposits, they resort to all sorts of lowly behavior- bullying, making up non-existent problems, new rules and act with hostility. It feels completely unnatural for me to behave in a threatening manner, as well as embarrassing. It also feels incredibly unnatural. Fear isn’t something I want to coddle and all beahvior that doesn’t stem from love IS FEAR. It is amazing! I feel foolish arguing, fighting, or trying to win an argument. It never feels good to win when someone else has to lose. I don’t think anyone in their right mind would agree to bullying, name calling and anything of the sort because what it all boils down to is my opinion and your opinion. It is that simple, NO right, NO wrong.
For some reason, lately, I am feeling like I really have to adhere to different standards of accepted behavior because once I feel I am put in this awkward position of being mistreated, yelled at, or threatened, I have to wonder, WHY DO I KEEP THIS PERSON IN MY LIFE? That is where I am at currently. and I am not keeping anyone like that around. No more excuses. It would be impossible for me to retain my self respect to continue to accept less than optimal behavior from those around me in the name of being spiritual and understanding. There needs to be a moral code, and boundaries established. Without them, one’s character, and integrity are a blur.
I think I may do an expose feature story and interview a real estate attorney, and Realtors and the Norwalk Housing Authority to notify tenants such as me, as to what their rights are, and what is legal and what isn’t! I believe EVERYONE should use their last month’s security for rent, if you know you have properly cared for the property you are renting, of course- because thieving, desperate landlords are in abundance out there! My parents were always to super cool landlords. In fact, my mother, yesterday said, “I always wound up throwing away garbage from tenants after they left and never charged them.” My parents were unusually cool with tenants. She made me realize that I was dealing with some insanity here, not just over garbage, which is a free load in Norwalk, with a beach sticker, but everything else they are trying to come with to make a profit off me. I am still awaiting notification of the “amount of my security deposit they deem acceptable to be given back to me.” What a joke! The house was left scrubbed clean, and in great condition! I cannot wait to report to you all my court date and the amount in which they try to steal from me! In my life I have never had a security deposit not used for last month’s rent and always leaving off on a great note! At this stage in my life, with my wisdom, and responsibility with which I act, it is totally shocking that I have to undergo such scrutiny, badgering. and thievery. I don’t mean to be a downer today, but I guess the moral of the story here is never stoop, and stand up for yourself at all times.
