Assistant Clinical Professor: Harvard Medical School, Humanist and Award-Winning Author.

Are you one of those people who have been looking for love in all the wrong places? Or perhaps you are someone who has found love, only to find that it fizzles out faster than a lit match in the spring rain? Have you genuinely tried your best to leave behind your pattern of unfulfilling relationships, only to find that you keep on going back to them, again and again?

Dr. Srini Pillay will spend an evening with us to unravel the mysteries of love and help us make wiser more informed choices about the loving relationships in our lives. He will address the following questions with cutting-edge scientific answers:

1. Why do so many people look for love in all the wrong places? What can you do about this?
2. Why you end up doing all the wrong things in love despite your best intentions? How can you change this?
3. Why does loving someone else require that you love yourself first? How can you achieve without the hype of a contemporary tabloid?
4. Why do you repeat your destructive patterns of falling in love? How can you escape these patterns?
5. Why does love become so boring so quickly? What can you do to lead a more sustainable fulfilling romantic life?

Join us for a special evening as Dr. Pillay shares how brain science elucidates five common challenges in romantic relationships, and how this science can help us lead more fulfilling lives. He writes frequently for Huffington Post, Psychology Today, and has been interviewed on this subject by Oprah Radio, Martha Stewart Whole Living, NPR and Fox News.

Dr. Srini Pillay is an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, invited faculty at Harvard Business School and an internationally-regarded expert on stress, anxiety and the way in which they impact our lives and relationships. He has written three books including the award-winning Life Unlocked: 7 Revolutionary Lessons to Overcome Fear. He is a featured voice on 33voices.com, an online forum featuring visionary thinkers who are helping to reshape our world. Dr. Pillay is also CEO of the NeuroBusiness Group, a company focused on enhancing social intelligence in companies.

To Register: http://www.theacademioflife.com/srinivas_pillay.php

Dr. Pillay will be available for a book-signing following the conversation. Books will be available for purchase at the event.

Love makes us happier but also more miserable than anything else’

Found the Magic One- Wheatgrass Powder...

I am a supplement junkie, meaning I am always searching for the perfect combination for optimal health and energy. I wish I could find a site whereby they would give a stellar combination of  protein shake, b vitamins, diet, work outs, etc. I feel like there are way too many products out there, and each person has a loyalty to some brand, even if its results aren’t unbelievably great!

Is there a web site out there? Even having gone to naturopaths, nutritionists, etc. I find that they give the same ratio and recipes to everyone, much like the physical trainer who just got their certification. These kids who do the same exercises with everyone. There needs to be a personal approach to creating the exact workout/nutrition/supplement program for every individual. Unfortunately, just working out and eating right doesn’t work due to the very poor quality of our food (soil nutrient depletion, pesticides, rapid growth methods, etc).

For energy, I don’t wish to grab for that cup of coffee to get me where I need to be for higher functioning and energetic response. I want to do it all naturally- but haven’t quite figured it out. My favorite place to shop is The Vitamin Shoppe. I get totally lost in there, go out of my mind with excitement and almost wish I worked there so I could know about each supplement and what to recommend for myself and others.

I’ve been doing a mix each am, and at times PM of:

Keto Protein Powder, Algae based Omega Oil, Another oil of dha omega 3s acid something or other, Colostrum, Green Vibrance, and when I remember, benefiber. with organic juice, either pear, apple, blueberry, or cherry (or a combination thereof) with frozen fruit pieces, usually blueberry, strawberry, a fresh banana, cherries)  Seems that this should create some real nutritional benefits, but it’s not kick starting me the way I wish. I am consuming one cup of coffee about an hour or two later.

I wrote the top portion of this yesterday, before I incorporated the wheatgrass powder and blueberry hyaluronic acid liquid. I will also do intermittant drops of Ginseng- I have it down. I wish I could spend all day outdoors doing fun shit, and exercising my arse off. Now that would be THE LIFE… that along with 100 pushups each morning before work… and beat my chest like King Kong BITCH!

Funny, "Natural Foods", what other kind is there? Fake, genetically created, which causes illness...

How I love to spend time in a natural foods/ supplements stores. To me, it’s like entertainment, a nightclub for dorks who love to be healthy. I could literally spend over $3,000 easy on supplements, and whole super food supplements! I get so enthralled with the fact that I can assist my health naturally, and the products are much sexier to me than Dior lipstick ads. My latest healthy supplement: Colostrum (my friend Nicole told me about it). Here are some benefits of taking it below:

Anti-Inflammatory, Allergy Relief, Alzheimer’s Disease and Cognitive Disorders, Antioxidants and Anti-aging, Arthritis, Asthma, Athletic Performance, Autoimmune Diseases, Cancer, Detoxification, Diabetes, Heart Health, Pain Management, Skin Health and Wound Healing – among so much more. I also give it to my 14.5 year old pug.

My morning ritual shake: frozen strawberries, mango, banana, blue berries, colostrum, protein whey powder, flax oil, benefiber powder, non fat plain greek yogurt, cranberry blue berry juice! Try it! so good for you, and energy producing!

Oh how I love to invest in my skin! I recently began using the Nu Brilliance at Home Microdermabrasion system! It kicks ass! Only twice so far and I see a major change the quality, appearance and feel of my skin! No lie.

I learned that my classic dream car is a 1965 Ford Falcon Futura convertible: I must get one in this life time. It is small, cute, and makes me happy to look at it. I would love to tool around town in one. It directly reflects my style.

  Isn’t this the cutest car ever? A car built for a pug and her owner!

I was thinking about how superstitions play a huge role in football play offs! I haven’t even been an active viewer of the NFL, but I did watch the play off games and I was out of my mind with stress as I wished for the Giants to win! I talked to several people who revealed their rituals, and their pain. The rituals include same outfits worn each game, sitting in same spot, pain including pacing, screaming, praying, hiding under the covers intermittently, and losing about 5 years off their lives from anxiety and stress during close games! I found myself on my stomach at times with my eyes closed because I couldn’t bare to watch some plays that were so close!

I will be watching the superbowl this Sunday, and I am not looking forward to the stress, but I can’t not watch it because I want the Giants to win so badly and my friend believes Roxie needs to watch because she is good luck!

I also thought about how much I love my company: www.olivergreenonline.com and how much joy it brings me! I love it after 5 years just as much as I did the day I began! I can’t wait to grow my wholesale business to include more golf shops and equestrian shops!

I love that the sun is shining again, and that this winter is mild because my dog really needed it to be. She is very old and may survive the winter due to it being the way it is! I am so grateful for not having to shovel every day and having it be below zero! I could live in CT forever if this was the way winter stayed!

roxie oles, the 14.5 year old pug...

Widely Available May 1, 2012

Holy shit! This am on the treadmill my mind was blown about 40 times while listening to totally inspiring music and reading John Sarno’s book, Healing  Back Pain. I pity those who do not open their minds regularly by reading, learning and thinking! That is the absolute most exciting part of life! Possibilities, science, health, healing, fitness and being your best possible self for optimal satisfaction and happiness while inhabiting this earthly plane is all anyone should ever strive for. The title Heal Your Back Pain is so benign and boring compared to the contents inside this book.

This book is enabling me to ascertain a huge realm of possibility as I correct small changes in Dr. Grayson’s book, and work with a spectacular public relations team to get a clear enough message out to seduce the skeptics regarding the origination of pain, disease, and discontent. Each author and professional make similar points that are astoundingly mesmerizing outlining how the mind and emotions play a major role in the manifestation of illness, pain, and chronic disorders. There are certain (many) diseases which have been linked to this unconscious emotional way of coping with life- and this unconscious coping method we have put in place as a result of our developmental environment, which is totally out of our control, and directly contributes to what problems manifest in our bodies.

If the disorder or illness or disease is the result of structural complications, then that is obviously the problem behind your discomfort and symptoms, however, most chronic issues are not structurally related, and are the result of repressed emotions finding their way out through pain manifestation in your body!

As a fellow thinker, I wonder why the unconscious mind delivers this punch to our bodies. What is the worst thing that can happen if we are able to express these emotions freely? These emotions are comprised of anxiety, fear, and anger typically. Is it that human beings aren’t comfortable confronting others in terms of their feelings? The spiritual realm would have us realize that we are in control of how we react to certain situations. If we choose to be angry, then that is a conscious choice made by us, and it shall fester in the mind eventually coming out in the body in some unfortunate way. So spirituality, health and the mind are all interconnected.

 Our doctors are so sorely attached to treating our symptoms instead of the cause! I know integrative medicine will emerge as something quite important in the years to come, but if your doctor isn’t attending to the mind as well as the body, he isn’t helping you by giving you pain medication.

You need to examine your thoughts, your mind, and your emotions when you start to feel something other than GOOD. While most mind body books make excellent points, and John Sarno, MD is an unbelievable mind, they don’t get to the origin of the negative patterns of thought. One may recognize that they are choosing to be negative, or repeating behavior that isn’t productive, but they are not attending to the origination of the behavior or pattern.

This is where Dr. Grayson’s methods come in to play. He is the psychological component to your chronic pains, debilitating illness and unhappiness. We all know when we consciously do things that aren’t necessarily for the betterment of ourselves, but we don’t know why we keep doing it. We recognize it, we can label it, and we are aware of it, but we still continue to do it. Dr. Grayson has figured out how we came to operate this way, and how to stop it altogether. This takes effort, time and patience. Anything good takes time, nothing great comes easy. If you are a seeker of knowledge about yourself and want to attain a greater sense of power over your life, symptoms and radically reduce your chances of falling victim to an illness, unhappiness, depression, etc, you need to soul search. In Use Your Body to Heal Your Mind, Dr. Grayson provides very clear explanations about how to derive proper conclusions as why you keep making the same mistakes or falling off the wellness wagon.

He gives you insight about how you came to cope and operate the way you do, and how it could or could not set you up for failure in the health and wellness department. More importantly, he gives you tools that you can use daily to undo all the unconscious knee jerk reactions to life that keep you stuck in a circle of unproductivity, illness and unhappiness.

Where Sarno, stops, Grayson comes in. Sarno stops at recognition that the problem of your physical symptoms are emtionally related, and many people have healed themselves of physical symptoms with that knowledge alone, however, the symptoms re-emerge in different parts of your body, and then you can recognize that they are emotionally related, and then eradicate them again. But in order to completely heal your mindbody, you will need to remove these incidents that lodge themselves into your limbic system that created unproductive behavioral problems to begin with.

The tools you will learn should be implemented into your life ongoingly, and be used on a regular basis because we endure traumas through out our lives which affect the way we assert ourselves, trust in and operate in this world in the future. If we endure a painful breakup, and not clear it’s effects physically and emotionally, it will continue to be an energetically charged incident in our minds each time we should think about it, and we won’t be able to talk about it in a neutral manner- thus it will manifest in our lives as fear, and we will be less apt to trust again for too long a time, and rob ourselves of the enjoyment of close relationships.

On the other hand, if we use Dr. Grayson’s methods to take the energetic charge out of this traumatic experience, we can talk about it with less emotion and attachment and move on productively to have optimal health and experiences going forward IMMEDIATELY. We set ourselves up for less negative energetic emotions, and therefore less strain on our physical health, because we release the anger, fear and sadness, and therefore set ourselves up for peace of mind and less of a chance for heart related problems.

Ok, I am going to quote Dr. Sarno, from Healing Your Back Pain, WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE IN A BOOK WITH THAT TITLE.. and this spoke to me directly as I know so many people operating this way, and it is sad that they don’t try to become better.

“To make things easy, we can refer to this multifaceted emotional mechanism as the personality. We all have one and we are all aware of some of its characteristics’ for example, we know if we’re a compulsive or perfectionistic. But there are important components of our personalities that we are unaware of, that are in the unconscious, that may have a profound effect on our lives. It seems clear that all human beings possess the same basic parts of the personality structure, though there may be considerable variation in the composition of these parts and the relative importance of each part in the life of the individual. For example, everyone has a conscience; in one person it may be strong as to virtually dominate his life; in the next so weak that his social behavior borders on the criminal.

A very important part of the unconscious personality is that which is childish, primitive and therefore, narcissistic. It is self-involved, to the exclusion of concern for the needs, desires and comforts of others. It is me oriented. The size (strength, influence) of this part varies from person to person. In some people it is large and they are, therefore, more liable to react and behave in self-indulgent or childish ways, though the latter may be hard to detect since people’s demeanor is always papered over by adult behavior. Many feelings and behaviors are no doubt left over from childhood. Children feel weak and vulnerable; they are dependent and they feel that dependency strongly; they don’t think much of themselves; they have a constant need for approval; they are very prone to anxiety and quick to anger. They have no patience. To a degree we all continue to generate some of those feelings unconsciously right into adulthood. What varies from person to person is how much.”

John Sarno, MD, Healing Your Back Pain, Page 134.

In closing, if you are interested in bringing your awareness to new heights about the origins of behavior and would love to change them for the better, YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO NOT READ Dr. Henry Grayson’s New Book- Use Your Body to Heal Your Mind: Revolutionary Tools to Release All Barriers to Health, Healing and Happiness- It will be widely released May 1, 2012, but may be available on www.henrygrayson.com by end of March.

Buy her book here: https://wendyida.com/book/

Wendy Ida is NOT your ordinary grandmother. In fact, she looks better than most of the 20-somethings on your block! Find out how you can get this fit over 40 in Take Back Your Life! Wendy Ida’s No Nonsense Approach to Health, Fitness & Looking Good Naked! This guide reveals all the secrets of a 59 year old, award-winning top fitness pro (and yes, grandmother!), Wendy Ida (ee’da).

http://wendyida.com/

http://www.coastalclassiccreations.com/index.php?option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=150

http://www.honeybeegardens.com/category/natural-cosmetics.html

http://www.cargocosmetics.com/products/face/wet-dry-foundation

http://www.bizzintino.com/

http://www.starflower.com/

Relationships are a lot of work. Often times, people instill too much in others, as in expectations, too much importance and triggers are activated because our first experiences with  ”love” come from our parents. It’s not uncommon that we confuse our personal love relationships with our parental “love” relationships. This is detrimental on so many levels.

1. Our unfinished emotions come into play by our perception of how our parents showed love to one another, and to us.

2. We place undo responsibility on our partner to be our “caretaker” or our sense of safety.

What do these mean exactly? When we select our partner, we automatically create unrealistic expecatations from the relationship. Often times the relationship manifests itself as a means with which to project our fears onto our partner. We want them to make us feel safe, happy, and to conform to our standards of what we feel is acceptable in terms of success. When in reality, all those feelings of fear and insecurity are continuously projected onto your partner. This happens when we start pointing fingers at the other person and question their career choices, state of happiness, or if we expect them to behave a certain way.

The only characteristic essential for a flourishing relationship is unconditional love. We are all separate human beings with different interests, talents and independent ways of asserting ourselves in the world. These characteristics are make us “inherently us.”  What makes up a person is character, integrity, boundaries and being able to identify our acceptable standards of behavior- for us, personally. Without all these definable qualities, we don’t exist. There has to be things we won’t do, will do, are comfortable doing, and want to accomplish. If we hold ourselves to a belief system that we are firm with we retain our self respect and we also separate ourselves from others- separate not in a spiritual sense, because ancient wisdom teaches us that separation is what causes unrest. I mean separate as in being an individual with a solid set of standards with which they adhere to, therefore substiantiating their existence, energy and personality.

We must leave our parents home in terms of our personal relationships and stop projecting onto our partners the fears we have as a result of our perception of whether or not we were loved adquately, or if our parents created an unsafe environment. Your partner is NOT YOUR PARENT. They are your lover, your soul mate, your boyfriend or girlfriend possessing their own qualities of being.

Everyone’s job in a relationship is to love unconditionally, if you can’t, you don’t belong in a relationship. You cannot handle the responsibility if you cannot separate your past experience with love enough to see this other person as they are and accept them fully as who they are.
Nothing suffocates a love relationship faster than:

feeling the need to be the boss of your partner

feeling like you must control them

feeling that you must teach them about life

feeling that you are responsible for their security, happiness, or making big decisions for them

feeling that you need to change them

Self reliance is paramount when entering in a union with someone else whereby a committment is made. You make a committment to accept them as they are, period. When a relationship is formed based upon need, financial care, and fear, 9 times out of 10 it won’t work. If it does work, it will end eventually because there will be resentment, feeling jailed, and quite often affairs of the heart with someone else.

It is called a romantic relationship for a reason. I believe that a relationship can remain passionate, romantic and exciting, if both parties go in without being co-dependant, without unrealistic expectations and without needing to be “taken care of.” It’s enough to have to survive on your own, without having to worry about making sure your partner is taken care of. If you have children, and the wife’s or husband’s job is to stay at home and that is agreed upon, that is entirely different. I am simply referring to romantic unions with a committment without children and not being married.

Romantic relationships, like children, are a lot of work. They require time, understanding, a lot of misunderstandings, and often times, strife. There doesn’t have to be a lot of strife and if it is happening a lot, you have to sit down and think about what is going wrong.

Take out a piece of paper and note all the things you love about your partner and if they are all external qualities, you better do some self reflection. The only thing that matters is how they treat you, make you feel, and how well they support your emotional being. People often select a partner based upon attraction alone and will put up with a lot of nonsense because they find themselves physically stimulated. This physical attraction will not survive being treated poorly and it may for an amount of time, but your self respect will dwindle. It’s important to select someone who has your back, who loves you in good times and bad times, and who accepts you as you are, and vice versa. You must have the same core values, and be headed in the same direction.

You know the old saying, “show me a hot girl, and i’ll show you someone tired of sleeping with them.” I don’t believe this is because it gets old, I believe it is because all these external factors keep interfering with the relationship. Too much reliance on the other person to feel alright is the main problem. You must feel alright before you enter into a relationship with the responsibility of committment. You can’t make the other person your mommy, your daddy, your therapist, your rock, your main reason for happiness. All these things must come from inside you, and you bring YOU to the relationship fully intact. Self responsibility before relationship responsibility is a must.

If you are seeking someone because you are lonely, learn to be happily alone before you do. If you are seeking someone because you need sex, pleasure your self. If you are seeking someone because everyone will think you are unlovable and undesireable- you care too much about what other people think. If you are seeking someone because they are good looking and have these external “looking good on paper qualities”, you care way too much about what other people think. The bottom line is that THIS IS YOUR LIFE. You need to be loyal to YOU, and you are here for a reason, and that is to learn to be happy, fulfilled and to function at a level whereby you can live with yourself and your decisions. END OF STORY.

You have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and to sleep soundly at night and if there is a pang in your stomach, listen to your intution and do what you need to do for you, even if it is to leave your ILLUSION OF SECURITY that this other person supposedly GIVES YOU. You cannot SELL OUT your ability to be truly adored, valued, loved by staying with someone who you inherently know isn’t giving back to you what you give to them. I am not suggesting you give with expectations of something in return, because that never works. Each and every time you will be disappointed if you give with expecatations- expectations set you up for misery, depression, addiction and a whole lot of other problems. Perhaps I should phrase it as so: If you don’t feel like a fucking superstar in the other person’s presence, get the hell out. If you are the constantly the target of their self projection as they assault their unhappiness onto you whereby they are asking  you what your plans are for the future, saying, “don’t you want more”, etc. you better think twice about their ability to accept you as their lover and not their child or parent.

We all have parents, we don’t need another one in our relationship. We need to be free to be ourselves, do as we wish, say as we wish as long as we are not intentionally trying to hurt the other person with lashing out, or violence. We need to remain people before we do a “couple.” You cannot lose yourself and your interests when in a relationship because ultimately, if that person ever goes away, you are setting yourself up for a whole lot of heart ache, fear and potentially being heartbroken way too long. Life isn’t forever, we don’t have an infinite amount of time with which to become our happiest and peaceful selves. According to Buddha, peace only happens when we focus on ourselves, and what we need to accomplish for growth. I know the only time I suffer needlessly is when I begin to think about what I wish I had from others, either money, love, attention, or whatever it is that I can give myself. Think on that.

When I focus on me, and being productive, and being kind, without expecting anything in return is truly amazing, and brings me infinite peace. We spend so much of our lives complaining about our partners to others because they have taken this job, or said this or like that, or this music or this activity. We all need to let one another be who we are and love each other for it, and not try to change one another. We all have our own lessons to learn and will learn at our own speed. It’s not up to us to destroy other’s dreams by our own interpretation of whether or not it is attainable for the other person. They will learn if it is or not. We are not to project our fear onto them or our limiting beliefs. Their life presents them with lessons to be learned at their own pace just as yours does.

More freedom is needed for healthy relationships. Freedom to be me, freedom to be you, and we meet in the middle by thoroughly enjoying them for who they are and they enjoy you for who you are. Let people make their own mistakes, and also don’t give unsolicited advice. Always ask if you can give your opinion or if they are interested in your opinion. Otherwise, zip it, have fun and enjoy the other. Stop confusing, stop creating projects, and have great inspiring conversation whereby you both share your thoughts about things, and let there be differences in opinions! There is nothing more boring or nauseating than a controlling person! There is nothing more insane then your partner acting as your parent or manager. These things will kill romance, love and the ability to be truly attracted enough to them to want to have a sexual relationship. If you are participating in a relationship currently where these things are happening and you are still having sex, it won’t last. I guarantee it.

So sorry for the sporadic stream of conscious writing style but this isn’t a magazine and I am not pretending to be a super organized writer. I simply feel inspired to share with you these thoughts.

Dr. Henry Grayson's New Book- Coming out Early 2012!

In our earliest most developmental stages of childhood we are in a highly suggestible trance due to the abundance of time spent in uncontrollable theta brain wave patterns. These same wave patterns, while deeply relaxed are used to hypnotize and program suggestions.

We are downloading other’s negative thought patterns and beliefs around us by default and these are imprinted in our limbic system creating patterns of behavior and belief systems that we have no control over. These negative imprints combined with accumulated traumas, which also create negative self beliefs,  overload our immune system and set us up for greater chances for chronic illness, unhappiness, and often life threatening disease.

Through decades of research, teaching, and client work, Dr. Grayson has created a synergistic therapy system which combines new scientific research, psychoanalysis, ancient wisdom, quantum physics, spiritual thought and kinesiology that has been working wonders in his private practice.  Is it the success of his patients, and in training other mental health professionals that created this empowering “how to” manual to allow you to stop being a spectator in your life of illness and unhappiness to realize your unlimited potential to heal!

In his enthusiastic and yet comprehensive explanations, he takes you on an exciting journey to change your perspective and teaches you healing methods with downloadable video demonstrations, and printable pdf files for your step-by-step use to transform your thinking and greatly lessen your chances for debilitating illness.

You will receive clear guidance on how to recognize, identify and eliminate your unconscious barriers that block you from total health, healing and happiness.

Use Your Body to Heal Your Mind is an essential manual for anyone who wants to take control of their health, or continue to have abundant health, and for those who wish to be pro-active in the process of eliminating the chances of creating disease. Once you understand that you really do have infinite potential to position your self for total health, happiness and healing, your life becomes much more endurable and enjoyable.

GET READY, This book is FASCINATING!

While it’s difficult to remain true to your messages, intuition, and internal guidance, you must. You must also learn to not take other’s opinions or life decisions personally. I always wonder why people (including me) get into, “What did he or she mean by that text, that statement, that email?” It means whatever you deem it to mean. You operate from your own perspective and have your own way of interpreting things and whatever you wish to do with the message, you do.

I choose to just take it for what it is. However, many people talk in riddles and moment to moment the emotion  from the messenger can and will change and how you  interpret something will change and change. It depends on your mood, confidence, and what is occurring in your life at the moment. We can all question our intentions if we think something to death, but don’t. Flow without expectations, always believe in your ability to come through things with your inner most conviction.

Having read Krishnamurti since the 80s, I believe he has influenced me greatly in the way I percieve and behave. Strong reliance on the self is imperative. We all sequester other’s opinions because we like different perspectives, however, in the end, you must do what is true to your being, or say whatever it is that is true to your being.  If you aren’t ‘being” you are not giving the world your presence or gift. (no pun intended).

Working with Dr. Graysonputs me in touch with some of the most innovative minds in science, psychology, ancient wisdom, and philosophy. It is no accident that I am privy to these people, teachings, and writings. Just when I may be thinking of something that has occurred in my life, or in a relationship, I magically get a message in my writing for Henry, or in listening to, doing research for or booking a radio show guest for dialogue with him, or editing material, shooting videos, editing videos, or in conversation with Dr. Grayson.

Look and read messages from people just as they are. Don’t be paranoid, because that is exhausting, just trust in what it is that you feel as you read it, because how you feel is your connection to the moment. Try not to attach too much importance to it because the only thing that is truly important is how you feel about your self, and how you assert that energy in the world. People will say things,  and do things all day long, they are fleeting moments of emotion and drive.

The only thing you can do in your life to pursue peace is to stand up for what you believe in, know what it is that you believe in ,and don’t take shit personally. Because everything everyone says or does is their reaction to life given what they are working with in terms of  “survival”. They feel they need to do or say whatever it is to survive whatever it is their perception is of what is happening. It never has anything to do with you. Confusing I know– but we all behave with whatever conscious or unconscious mechanisms we have in place to cope.

The best thing you can do is believe that people are better, because once you feel that the world is shit, you spiral. You become depressed, hopeless and reside in victimhood. Believe me when I say, I am of a very angelic heart, however, I will stand my ground, and I will let you know how I feel about right and wrong, MY RIGHT AND WRONG… I always like to say, “there is a fine line between spirituality and being a doormat.” I straddle that line beautifully. It has taken a lot of work… you can retain your light without being overly saccharine and totally boring, trust me. Just believe is what I say, because what you put out there in belief, will more than likely manifest, maybe not immediately, but eventually. If it is belief in a person who keeps failing, keep believing, because the more you believe, the more they will, and the more likely they will have the opportunity to achieve peace and make a difference.  

Sit down, fucking breathe, let go, and do what it is you want to do to feel quiet, peaceful, and have your mind to your self. Don’t expend it on others, and expectations. Expend it on yourself- get creative, get pleased that all you are doing is focusing on what you need to accomplish for you to be pleased. Don’t focus on how other’s perceive you, don’t focus on what you need or want from others. Focus on what you want for your self. Whomever makes an appearance in your life will, the quieter you are, the less you do, the more you get.

Last night Jackie was over sewing and we had the craft room television on and it happened to be on a show about plastic surgery gone wild. We both were agape with awe and disgust. Why is it that in 2011 women are still deforming themselves all for the attention of men? They don’t do it for themselves! They get procedures that are classicly barbie doll-esque so that men as a whole will find them “irresistible.” I don’t know about you, but I get totally grossed out when “noer do well” men (meaning mean, uninspired, drunk, angry, etc) check me out and oogle me. If I had it my way, only kind, well attired, intellectual and funny men would look my way. (ha ha ha)  I feel skeeved to have eyes on me, which is why I don’t wear provocative clothing– it’s also because I have no desire to have men look at me “that way”. I’d much rather sift through the dirt and find that one diamond who will find my mind irresistible because they are the ones who stick around for the “long haul”.  It is incredibly sad to me that women in this day and age and supposed PROGRESSION are still are so fucking insecure and fall prey to MEDIA MANUFACTURED media standards of beauty!

What is beauty?: health, kindness, peace of mind, curiosity, humor, being loving, and completely comfortable about who you are. and of course KNOWING WHO YOU ARE- a STRONG SENSE OF SELF IS BEAUTIFUL beyond measure.

I feel so sad for women in Hollywood that feel the pressure to keep deforming themselves in order to “keep that man” or to “get that part”. What a sad life they live indeed. The whole time they spend exercising, dieting, nipping, tucking, injecting, extending, coloring, and changing their external instead of developing their internal. And more than likely, this external attention they prioritize will bring them the wrong guy or the wrong attention anyway. By wrong, I mean men or people who only value what someone looks like instead of who they are. I know I am making a sweeping generalization here, but you get my point.

More women need to write screenplays featuring characters of all colors, sizes and ages, whereby a story of value is illustrated- the human condition- and inspiring! Women need to write for women, because most men will write stories featuring actors and actresses who are in their 20s, which is TOTALLY HILARIOUS because people that age rarely contend with the issues presented in the screenplay in real life! When is art going to reflect reality? Please give me some reality so I can put things into proper perspective….

All these thoughts swimming around in my mind made me come to a real conclusion- There needs to be better female role models who are featured in the media! It needs to be better than actresses on every magazine with stories about fledgling relationships, cheating and their new bodies. old bodies and new men! I feel so entirely insulted that these magazines are targeted toward women!

And women keep buying them, keeping themselves down and ”paying”  the very people who prey on them and their insecurities making them monetarily RICH and themselves self esteem poor. 

America is in a state of disarray, where I see people continue to stay mired in victim-hood, they are uninspired, lazy, and are focused on all the wrong things! They are focused on other people instead of them SELVES. The Occupy Wall Street is a great example of what is truly wrong with America! People expend energy on highlighting others “perceived wrong” instead of elevating themselves to new heights for achievement! I don’t know what has gone wrong here, but the tables need to be turned, BIG TIME.

You see, I am a Republican (I usually don’t talk politics because it is divisive) but I am going to try to explain why I choose this party. I choose it because I BELIEVE IN PEOPLE! I am an OPTIMIST at large. I believe people can rise and become better because I know I have. I have done the work on myself whereby I know I am a good person who works hard, has values and derives my self esteem from my personal accomplishments and helping others. I also derive it from being peaceful and feeling uncomfortable with “fighting.” Everyone should feel uncomfortable with fighting, arguing and ill intent. It is entirely not enjoyable nor normal  to seek  revenge, make people feel bad, and to assert yourself in this world with a force that creates bad energy for yourself or others. It’s down right weird to fight or to feel that you must create dischord to “get what you need or want”. I find the less you expend, the more comes your way, in terms of universal fulfillment. Because you see, the more you deem “not important” the more it becomes NOT IMPORTANT. While I know this is a simple statement, but if you really read it slowly, you will see how powerful it is. My motto, from Karen Salmonsohn, from www.notsalmon.comis LET GO OR BE DRAGGED. Isn’t it truly simple? Ok, I digress, don’t hate me for believing in people, believing in their ability to love themselves, work and be productive. Don’t hate me for believing people should work for what they have because it creates value. Everything I work for, I value.

I also believe in assisting others within reason whereby it doesn’t interfere with personal goals. I have, for a long time, over-helped people to the point of putting myself on hold, but that no longer happens. I find myself becoming a bit uncomfortable sometimes when I must step back in order to listen to my needs and respond, but I do it anyway, and it’s been great for me.  I love to be of service, but it can’t be to the detriment of my progression, happiness, and impede my schedule, health, comfort, and goals that I must achieve to survive and succeed.

Of course, I digressed because I am always thinking about a billion plus things… but back to ROLE MODELS! As I sit here attempting to come up with some seriously cool, smart women that I can look up to, sadly, I cannot. I don’t know enough about any of the entrepreneurs, inventors and writers personally to tout them, PLUS- I CANNOT THINK OF ONE AT THE TOP OF MY HEAD because they ARE NEVER FEATURED IN ANYWHERE TOTALLY MAINSTREAM! If no one else finds this COMPLETELY ALARMING- well then, America should just throw in the towel, which they are doing already because everyone is throwing their arms up and saying ” I GIVE UP.” I give up on my America and just want to blame others for my misfortune.

I am determined to include some WOMEN ROLE MODELS IN AN UPCOMING POST, unfortunately, it’s going to take some deep digging, and research- isn’t that a SHAME? Shouldn’t I be able to raggle off like 5 or 6 that are regularly featured in mainstream media!? I need to identify women who are cool, aren’t afraid to be “them selves”, and don’t dress solely for MEN’s admiration. GOD! How hard will that be to find? I can think of one I admire, Gwen Stefani- cause she has her own style- has a cute husband, is an artist, entrepreneur, doesn’t get into trouble with drugs, problems, etc.

I feel very strongly that young girls and women need better role models, doesn’t mean that they can’t be glamourous, like Gwen Stefani, just means that their focus needs to be on self development, not external development such as tit jobs, makeup, slutty clothing, etc.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH– help! what is an intellectual like me to do?