I love this software program! My boss enlightened me about it and I must say, ” I LOVE IT!” Anyone who wishes to learn more about caloric content, wants to gauge how many calories you consume a day, and get a calculation about how many calories are needed a day to meet your weight maintenance or loss goals can use this!

It also calculates, fats, sugars, proteins, and gives exercise, and food preparation recipes all wrapped up into one program! I am only using the free version right now, but you can pay  monthly if you want for more inspiration and tracking of goals! I have the app on my iPhone as well to help me so that I can enter foods as I am on the go!

I am learning so much from this program and if you have a goal, you should use it too! It is very easy, and helpful! I feel like I am not writing enough about this because it is literally changing my life, but you get it! GO GET IT!

http://livestrong.com

I’ve also been thinking about the “dark” versus the “light” in terms of what people identify with in terms of how they assert themselves and define/express themselves in life. As I mature, and become even more aware of myself and others, the dark looks like a place where other’s stunt themselves. I know because I used to embrace the “dark” .. which is to me “self rejection”. It is a place in the mind where you choose to stay, desire, want, suffer, lust, and stay mired in wanton of what you “don’t have” but what you “want.” What a jackass way to be. However, I would imagine not so much art would be accomplished if we were all in a “lighter and airer” place.

 This philosophy also reminds me of my second year of working with Dr. Grayson. I would say to him, isn’t it totally boring to be so spiritual ALL THE TIME? He said, “No Way!” Now I know what he meant. Being spiritual means being content with what you have, who you are, and not forcing your self on others.  It also encompasses a “non attachment” to outcomes and scenarios which brings a total sense of peace, no agenda and an authentic flow of human-ness.

Ok, back to my observation of people who continue to stay in the “dark” area of their life, tryin so hard to be edgy, to be percieved a certain way, like a barber I just saw on facebook from Hollywood. I laughed at his picture, actually obtaining joy and I read the tatoo saying “fuck you” on his fingers as they were posed in a scissor shape! Then the caption was, “the badassest coolest motherfucking barbar shop in Hollywood! ha ha aha… so silly to me, yet “dark”. He is choosing to stay dark. That’s ok, but when I tell you I know it won’t serve him well, I know it, unless, of course, he will see the irony of it all and not take himself so seriously.  I love me some edge, but it has to be authentic, not a badge for anger. I like Michael Cera edge- ha ha ha.. like scientific edge- Big Bang Theory.. edge that isn’t threatening, just authentic, unique and smart. Give me that ALL DAY LONG. Leave the Five Finger Death Punch, black nail polish shit at home please. That says nothing but I am malliable, manipulated and don’t have an original bone in my body.

I love people who are totally themselves and not looking for the “dark” to make them appear “cool” because nothing could be more uncool than unhappiness and anger. To me, the coolest way to be in life is happy, unaffected, authentic and confident. Also being totally supportive of others, if they require it, and being loving. Creating comfortable surroundings for others is cool… so much more than trying to emulate edgy. Does that make sense. Dark will never serve you like LIGHT. never. When you grow up, you realize that and become the hero you were meant to be.

In America, as much as I love my country, there is a lot to be said about the lack of real respectable culture here and Diane Levin addresses some very important issues in her book Sexy So Soon! She is a brilliant thinker on the verge of something really monumental and more people need to know about this! Please take a look at this book and the other link below which is a site catering to healthy body image! Why do people continuously comment on little girls dresses, clothes, hair or fingernail polish, shoes, etc? Why don’t more people say things like, “That was a nice thing you just did?” Good question, isn’t it? Stop focusing on external image with girls and start to put the focus on their behavior PLEASE!

http://dianeelevin.com/sosexysosoon/

Today’s children are growing up in an environment saturated with images of sexual appearance and behavior that they cannot fully understand. From a young age, this environment undermines efforts to promote a broad range of non-stereotypical skills and competencies for girls and boys. It influences what both girls and boys think about being male and female, their bodies, what they want to be, do, and wear, and teaches harmful lessons about social behavior and relationships. It can promote eating disorders, low self esteem promote, precocious sexuality. Based on her book, So Sexy So Soon, Levin explores the current situation, how it is affecting children, and what we can do to promote healthy development as we work for change.

Today’s children are growing up in an environment saturated with images of sexual appearance and behavior that they cannot fully understand. It can influence how they think about being male and female, their bodies, and what they want to be, do, and wear. It can confuse children about the nature of adult relationships and promote precocious sexuality. Based on her new book, So Sexy So Soon, Dr. Levin explores the current situation, how it is affecting children, and what we can do to promote healthy development in these times.

http://www.thebodypositive.org/

People love to avoid themselves, which is why they love to  get mad at someone else and then blame the other person saying it was something they did to make them mad! ha ha ha.  This is my favorite and totally NUTSO form of behavior that I watch in others, when self avoiding. (joke, cause anyone who knows me, knows I do not partake in self avoidance).

Hilarious how others love to mire themselves in a state of “being mad” because of “something you did”. Isn’t that super funny?  Don’t people realize that it is a conscious choice to be angry? That they choose to be in the state of anger or being mad? Why would someone choose that state over being happy? I have no idea. Why after someone apologizes do people feel manipulated by the apology and then choose to continue to stay mad because the apology wasn’t enough, and they don’t want to lose, and let someone off the hook!? Don’t they see that they are losing by choosing to be in a bad mood? The only thing they try to do is bring you to their level of misery in the process.

Does anyone else find this to be totally crazy behavior? I do. I choose to create a win/win situation instead of a win/lose situation in terms of relationships. I don’t care to stay in a negative place mentally when I know it is my choice on whether or not I choose to do so. I feel weird and dumb for choosing to stay there because the only person I am hurting is myself. I also adversely affect my health in the process. Why do people hand over their power to others and make themselves sick as a result. “You made me mad” is one of the most hilarious statements I have ever heard! Ah hem… “You made yourself mad.”

When are people going to begin to take total responsibility for the way they behave and not blame others for how shitty they feel? That is the million dollar question!

Last night as I was in my home alone for the first time after losing my brother to an untimely death, I kept quiet. I was waiting for some universal wisdom to get me through the night peacefully. I was quietly waiting for answers, for explanations, and for meaning. I got one clear message, “Some People Are Just Not Long for This World.” That was the message that kept coming through loud and clear to me. I thought on it deeply and for some explanation.

I thought about the differences in many people in how these choose to live their lives. What they choose to do with their time, put into their bodies, how they chose to nourish or not nourish themselves spiritually, physically, emotionally. I thought about Darwinism, and about spirituality. I came to these conclusions:

People will do what they choose to do personally for their journey in life. No one can personalize other’s decisions to care or not care totally for themselves.  The choices people make are not a reflection of how they feel about you, but how they feel about themselves. An army can’t save anyone who doesn’t want to save themselves. I thought about Michael Jackson and how he had legions of adoration from millions of people, and how that (so much love was shown to him through attendance of his concerts, tears, etc) couldn’t even save him from himself and his perceived pain.

I thought about how other’s who hurt themselves with bad choices don’t want to harm others with their personal decisions, but they do by default because other people will love them no matter how much they don’t love themselves and will be hurt directly by their decisions. I also thought about how people need to put things into perspective about their own decisions and they choose to live or not live based upon the pain they feel with the loss of someone significant. The demarcations that are drawn as a result can make or break you.

In life, there is death, there is suffering and that is unavoidable and how you handle it all is of utmost importance. It is essential that you don’t falter, crumble, and harm your own health when grieving. I have decided to take this time to become better, stronger, healthier, and wiser. I will honor my brother’s memory with vibrant health, happiness and to be as loving as he and I have always been. I wish for everyone the ability to take charge of the wonderful gift called LIFE. To be as productive, positive and loving as possible to themselves and others.

We all have moments of weaknesses, but may they be fewer and fewer as we learn our personal lessons. May we all be gentler and kinder to ourselves, so that the people who love us can have us around for a long time and so that we can live a long time and reach our fullest potential for love, health and happiness.

May we all put out our cigarettes and choose joy today instead of pain. May we all put on sneakers and hit the pavement to become stronger physically, and mentally. May we all nourish our bodies with vegetables and fruit and supplements so that we can live our lives fully, completely and with strength. May we all stop sabotaging ourselves and see what life gives us every day. The ability to walk, climb and laugh are true gifts. May we all create physical vitality for ourselves so that we can do anything it is we dream of doing.  We need to be more careful with ourselves for we have a responsibility to those we include in our lives to be happy ourselves. The more joyful we are, the happier others become around us. We need to become more self reliant and not burden other’s with our personal pain.

We need to stop, look and listen, and be more quiet, and aware of ourselves and how we assert ourselves in the world because it effects others and ourselves. We need to smile at strangers and talk with them. I choose to not be a victim, to not feel sorry for myself, for I am grateful that I have a choice to make better decisions, and to love myself because everyone who knows me will be better off for it, as well as I.

I am stronger for smiling, and giving myself the gift of good health. I will make even more of a commitment to be the best person I can be for my friends, family and everyone who cares for me because I don’t want to hurt anyone by my personal actions towards myself.

I will hold my brother in my memory as someone who made people laugh and smile but I will also learn from his early departure to nuture my body and my mind, and every step I take towards perfect health will be in honor of him, myself and those I love and who love me. I promise to try to be here as long as I can with a smile and a hug and warmth.

Lastly, I will let you all know, who know me and love me, I choose to not tolerate needless complaining and suffering. For the rest of my life, I will be of support to any of you who need me but I will not aid and abet needless suffering. I will not participate in needless pain to myself or others. Be patient with me because I am not going to sit and talk about how hard life is because to me, I choose to love life, and that is what I am going to tell you if you call me to tell me how shitty it is. I am going to rise higher than ever before and give my body and mind the love it needs to be there in a positive way. Life kicks major ass, and every challenge it throws my way is a lesson, a choice, and I choose to be completely responsible for how I respond to it.

Thank you all of you for your kindness, and may you find one sentence in here to resonate and give you strength today to be the best fucking person you could ever be. It is all about choices! I will juice my produce and love every ounce, I will go to the gym and love every drop of sweat I emit and know that I am doing all that I can for me and everyone around me. No more self sabotage. FUCK THAT SHIT! I choose Life, and I choose to be SUPER MAN.. you better believe that!

Hard work is the best, trying hard at life is the best, and physical exercise will make you feel like you can do anything you could ever want or dream. Be productive, organize your self, organize your life for happiness. Clean up, shape up and nourish your body for it will make your life all that more exciting….

Fugazi’s song: Burning Too

Also, the Song, Last Man Standing by EPMD, Eric Sermon.. yea, the 80s..

The Emmy’s Memoriam- Always inspiring, because it makes you realize that your time is FINITE, you don’t have forever, and it sparks a fire under my ass to get done what I desire to get done!

The Quincy Jones Special on his being an Icon, I couldn’t find a link to the actual televised show I saw about his life but it was very inspiring!

Eating whatever I wanted yesterday, Sunday! I had so much fun eating donuts, hamburger, and pizza! Amazingly exciting!

Slowing down, reflecting, thinking, exercising, getting my hair did! Yea, feels good to no longer be sporting long, damaged yellow and brown hair. Now it is all integrated, good cut, with warm browns and golden blondes. Thank you Marci from Hair Innovations in Westport! You are talented!

Murphy oil soaping my kitchen floor- felt so nice and clean!

Watched a couple films: Hereafter and The Other Woman, both very good!

I am grateful that I am content to live the way I wish. I am grateful that I don’t fall prey to societal fear and feel lonely, desperate and that I don’t  fall for a mediocre relationship when I know I deserve a RENEGADE, STRONG, and unyielding man with complete integrity and discernment! I am grateful that I love to spend time with myself, by myself, getting to know myself and that I like myself. I am glad I am not addicted to other’s opinions of me. I am glad I spilled my coffee as I was staring at myself in the mirror, liking myself! ha ha ha…

Rock and Roll, Hip Hop, jazz, and life! I love my life so very much, and I am grateful that I have everything I do.  I am glad that I am not addicted to suffering and that I try very hard at life. I love trying hard, working hard, and moving toward being the best possible person I can be. I am glad I have the opportunity to change and to want to change. Life is VERY EXCITING!

Ok, this is getting annoying and repetitive. I will stop now. You get the picture! : )

I’ve been watching Gangaji on and off for about 15 years now. I have been staying with a friend until my power comes on from the hurricane. I was channel surfing, and came upon my girl, Gangaji, who I haven’t watched in a long, long time. The night before I watched Carole Lombard films from the 30s; both unusual for me as of late.  But anyway, Gangaji is this peaceful woman who talks quietly about the importance of knowing the “self”.

“Need nothing and then see what happens.”
— Gangaji

“We have tried everything to get rid of suffering. We have gone everywhere to get rid of suffering. We have bought everything to get rid of it. We have ingested everything to get rid of it. Finally, when one has tried enought, there arises the possibility of spiritual maturity with the willingness to stop the futile attempt to get rid of it and, instead, to actually experience suffering. In that momentous instant, there is the realization of that which is beyond suffering, of that which is untouched by suffering. There is the realization of who one truly is.”
-Gangaji”

“Fufillment has nothing to do with circumstances.”
— Gangaji

From her web site: Gangaji shares a simple message-This is an invitation to shift your allegiance from the activities of your mind to the eternal presence of your being.

Born in Texas in 1942, Gangaji grew up in Mississippi. After graduating from the University of Mississippi in 1964, she married and had a daughter. In 1972, she moved to San Francisco where she began exploring deeper levels of her being. She took Bodhisattva vows, practiced Zen and Vipassana meditation, helped run a Tibetan Buddhist Meditation Center, and had a career as an acupuncturist in the San Francisco Bay area.

Despite her successes, Gangaji continued to experience a deep and persistent longing for fulfillment. She pursued many paths to change her life including relationship, motherhood, political activism, career, and spiritual practice, but even the greatest of her successes ultimately came up short. In the wake of her disillusionment, she made a final prayer for true help. In 1990, the answer to her prayer came unexpectedly, taking her to India and to the meeting that would change everything. There on the banks of the river Ganga, she met Sri H.W.L. Poonja, also known as Papaji, who opened the floodgates of self-recognition. In this meeting, Gangaji’s personal story of suffering ended and the promise of a true life began to flower and unfold.

Today, Gangaji travels the world speaking to seekers from all walks of life. A teacher and author, she shares her direct experience of the essential message she received from Papaji and offers it to all who want to discover a true and lasting fulfillment. Through her life and words, she powerfully articulates how it is really possible to discover the truth of who you are and to be true to that discovery.

We invite you to read The End of All Excuses by Gangaji an in-depth article by Gangaji about her spiritual path and essential experiences.