I frequently philosophize with friends about what gets us through the day, the week, the year and life in general. I keep going back to the same theory that each and everyone of us should have confidence in who we are as individuals. No one should feel bad about who they are, what they feel, and work to have a great perception of themselves.
The first way to achieve this is to throw away any shame based thinking regarding your life and experiences up until now. There is no manual for life and if we make no mistakes, we don’t learn what works for us. Also, titling experiences as “mistakes” can be potentially damaging to one’s self esteem. Maybe we should come up with a new term for engaging in an activity that didn’t yield the best results. Perhaps better termed, “a momentary lapse of reason”.. but my point is, without them, life wouldn’t be as interesting, as thought provoking and wouldn’t inspire you to go in another directions.
I wish for everyone confidence in who they are, the decisions they make, and the path they beat. I relish in people’s differences and enjoy so much being around someone who I can learn from, or have them inspire in me a different way of thinking or seeing. I value opinions because they are the fabric of character. Without character, one wouldn’t have any boundaries, and someone with out any boundaries can live a slippery existence. Slippery meaning, no edge, nothing for anyone else to hold onto when conversing and having an experience with..
I feel hypocritical at times because I do work towards a path of total tolerance for other human beings because we are sharing everything together. We share oxygen, the same energetic field of consciousness, the roads, stores, parks, stores, work.. we need each other in order to succeed. Without customers, one has no business.. without friends, one has no companionship.. without others, we cease to exist. But I do find myself getting annoyed when driving and feel hypocritical because I do get angry when people are driving too slowly, or in my way when I have to get somewhere… I become aware of my discontent with people in situations where I am in a hurry or if people serve as barriers to where I need to go, emotionally, physically, whatever it is that my immediate experience needs…. this is where I personally falter.
The biggest challenge of all is in accepting what your “experience needs” and what others are “able to give.” This is the hardest balance to strike. Being an assertive, strong personality, I like to go for what I want. Life and business are two different arenas, or are they? Should we pursue things that aren’t easily gotten? Don’t businesses pitch for other business even if accounts initially say no? Tenacity is a great asset and trait if asserted carefully. When there is potential money to be exchanged, as in business, tenacious is cool.. but in terms of social situations, tenacity can be frowned upon because if the two people are not symbiotic and even in their communication with an ebb and flow, it is time to hang up the hat.
If you are forced to “hang up a hat” I am urging you to take yourself out of the equation and understand that it isn’t YOU.. it is the situation that isn’t working. . the combination of the two forces are simply not symbiotic. That is where confidence comes in and is necessary to redeem yourself and to not take things personally. Think of actors auditioning and all the rejection they face, ALL THE TIME.. rejection simply because the “PART” doesn’t qualify them.. think…QUANTIFICATION vs. QUALIFICATION… we all feel like we don’t QUALIFY.. but that isn’t true.. it is simply that the mathematical equation isn’t working out with the seeming numbers (people)…
It is difficult for people to remove themselves from the equations happening on a daily basis, but you must in order to retain a strong sense of yourself. Everyday people don’t step up to do what it is they want because of self doubt.. a self doubt created by the reaction of someone else to them at a particular time during a particular experience or during a particular situation. You cannot keep taking these experiences and imprinting them into your memory bank and making them part of you. Once an experience happens that doesn’t work out you must move forward, work, romance, family, child, pet, ANYTHING… and learn from it. Without these valuable experiences we wouldn’t realize what works! We can’t let these experiences chip away at who we THINK WE ARE. It is essential in life that you retain your strength of purpose, personality, and whatever it is that makes you uniquely you and to not ever doubt it or falter unless you have done something immoral or reprehensible. I am speaking on the broadest of terms here.. ACCEPTABLE human behavior which we all can rightfully conceive.
I also wish for everyone not to possess limiting beliefs instilled upon them by the media, and a fear-based society. Being a human being is comprised of personal freedom. If you allow yourself to be shaped by the masses and more importantly the media, we all are sold a sheep like perception. I have a friend who will say to me, “Just because People magazine tells me JLO is the most beautiful woman in the world, who says I HAVE TO BELIEVE IT?” The world is much bigger than the media! Human potential is much bigger than the small minds of television, advertising, and product marketing would have you believe! Go with your gut, not with what seems to be popular at the moment. I for one, am completely embarrassed to follow any sort of “trend” because I refuse to be manipulated by ANYONE or ANYTHING. It is a conscious decision that I have made my whole life NATURALLY (as ironic as that may sound)! I never desired to “fit in” anywhere. I would be mortified to conform to any standard.. I can only be me. Thank GOD I had the common sense since childhood to retain my individuality. As much as I retain being an individual, I have the intellectual ability to realize that aside from being individual, I must also realize that I am sharing the world with many others and must peacefully assert my individuality. There is a fine line of being deemed spiritual and a door mat. I feel I have managed to strike a balance reasonably well. Ask anyone who knows me, they will make say that I am direct, honest, golden, and a well meaning human. Make no mistake, I do ensure that it is known if I want something or if something is not sitting well with me.
Back to self imposed limitations due to the great effect of other’s expectations of you and the god forsaken media, including VOGUE, and all the other fashion and girl type magazines with airbrushed images! Air brushed images is such a catastrophe because so many people who don’t bother to educate themselves don’t realize that A HUMAN BEING CANNOT LOOK LIKE THAT.. a photograph contained in an ad or in a MAGAZINE is more than likely doctored and NO ONE CAN ACHIEVE THAT PERFECTION. Also, while I am on this subject matter, and in this flow, AGE.. age is a number, not an indication of anything other than chronological years of existence. Everyone chooses to do with their time here in a manner in which works for them. This decision can include: education, fitness, health, maturation, ignorance, self destruction, so on and so forth.. and those decisions have ramifications and outcomes. For example, I have seen people in the same age group look vastly different, behave vastly different and have different priorities. Select people based upon the choices they make for their existence. If it is congruent with how you live, go with it. Don’t be a mental midget and base decisions solely on age. If you do, you are a victim of the media and of society at large and shame on you for buying into a billion dollar industry or the way the media manipulates you to think or perceieve!
People, you have your own mind, your own life, your own decisions and choices and you are in control of how you feel about yourself! Take advantage of the good, the bad and the ugly and realize that it all needs to exist in order for you to create your life.
Everyone’s life should be limitless, with no shame about your past, we are all human after-all, the only thing that matters is how firstly, you treat yourself and how you treat others. All the rest, forget about it… it’s gone, it’s over.. every day presents for each of us to begin anew, to change a little bit, to create something better for yourself!
